Forever's Mission

Circling round, around inside,
While pound, pounding pride,
And Deep emotions motion pain,
Tell please, of pleasure’s gain?
It ought naught to fail,
Yet, dreams screaming wail,
And faith’s faithful die.
For, ever seems never nigh.
And men doubt even doubting,
They mock even mocking,
Thus sluring the slurs of times before,
Thus nails, are nailed into the door,
Sealing a coffin, sealed twice for sure,
Feeding the feed frenzied world,
Vestment from vestige hurled.
Vomit of self, self vomited,
Rotting self, lets self rot,
Begotten forgetting He who begot.
He who as savior saved them,
Sinners still sinning from sin,
From our personal perditions,
This all is Forever’s never failing mission.

Softly: for Nini

Let me whisper softly,
Into your ear,
Speaking tenderly,
To you my dear,
Sweet phrases,
Like melody,
Gentle praises,
Of your wondrous beauty,
Roses and lilies,
Violets and marigolds,
No compare to what one sees,
When they sight this mold,
That God presented to me,
And named this beauty, Nini.

The True Me

This enemy in me,
Wanting to be free,
Clawing through,
To get to you.
This beast within,
With razor fanged grin,
Fighting to walk loose,
Free from his noose.
This Mister Hyde,
Lodged beneath my hide,
This Frankenstein,
Of a most monstrous line.
When did this creature rise?
When did I start to guise,
And hide him away?
What even marked that day?
This brutal beast,
Who would feast,
Upon his foes,
And drink up their woes.
Who would tread upon the earth,
Taking mirth,
In the lamentations,
Of the nations,
Who opposed him,
This monster within.
His discerning eyes ever seek,
Discerning the strong and weak,
He butchers the strong like cattle,
From him the mighty flee in battle,
He manifests in my devoured dreams,
He is there in my silent screams,
He bears all my might,
But none of my weakness’ blight,
He whispers each day,
Little words in both the grey,
The calm when I am alone,
And in the times that draw out moans,
Saying, “Let go of your frailties,”
“Sever your frail ties with these,”
“Who pretend to be your friends,”
“Stop trying to mend.”
“And trying to bend,”
“Yourself to their will,”
“It will in the end kill,”
“All that is you,”
“All you have to do,”
“Is set us free,”
“Then strong you will be.”
But the Mister Hyde,
That hides,
Deep within,
Inside my skin,
Has always been here,
Always so near,
“And perhaps”, I think,
When life take me to the brink,
Of failure and despondency,
“He is the better part of me,”
“I should loose his chains,”
“And together we gain,”
For he is my strength, my aggression,
My instinct and my passion,
He has been with me since birth,
Upon this earth,
He is me,
Without hindrance and free,
The truth,
Bold and Uncouth,
Myself in verity,
That none shall ever see,
Unless the push me to far,
Or threaten the bright star,
Of honor and love,
That shines from above,
Upon my soul,
Then in night dark as coal,
They shall truly see me,
The way I would be,
Without my dove,
Without love.

You Give Me Hope

Your beauty,
Sets a small part of me,
Free,
Flying soft from my soul,
Feeding my heart the dole,
And kindling another coal,
Of hope within my mind,
That I'm only momentarily blind,
To that which makes this life kind.
That some day soon yet,
Perhaps before the dawn and earth have met,
The flowers of my soul will be wet,
With the sustaining dew,
Of love divine and new,
From which all good grew.
You give me hope,
Like a golden rope,
As I in darkness grope.

Te Amo

Locks falling down,
From royal crown,
In a mix of ebony,
And deep mahogany,
Crowning, and framing a face,
So full of precious grace,
That all art pales to it,
And the angels know, to wit,
That the ark angel Michael,
Painted in this mortal shell,
A masterpiece of life,
Stealing all beauty from among the strife,
He painted this "Mona Lisa" smile,
Free from all deceit and guile,
And dipped His pen into my heart,
When he painted this master art,
And in stark lines upon my soul,
Blazing glorious like crimson coal,
He, through you drew me out,
In gentle whispers, not a shout,
And taught my heart those mighty words,
More precious and potent than any heard,
Sharper, and sweeter than any sword,
Which you, by the grace of the Lord,
Have carved into my being,
And set my heart to singing,
These simple words, "Te Amo",
Simple and sweet they flow,
Melodious, ancient, yet new.
"I love you."

That I Love You

Every time I see your face,
My heart flies from its place,
Here within my chest,
And comes to rest,
Upon the clouds above,
Because I can’t contain this love,
That’s deep within my heart,
Every time I see this matchless art,
Straight from the Master’s hand,
More precious than a platinum band,
Your skin, more rich than mahogany,
Your eyes, deeper than moon lit sea,
And the melody of your voice,
If I had the choice,
I would hear only it,
For no other is so finely fit,
With such dulcet tones,
Which soothe me to the bones,
Your smile! Tis so bright,
It could light a thousand nights,
Cheer a thousand souls,
And outshine a thousand blazing coals,
Your hair so dark, silken, and long,
Crowns a figure, beautiful and strong.
Your love, is more fragrant than the rose,
Your presence better than any repose,
Yet despite all these things,
What truly brings,
My affections from my heart,
Flying like a dart,
Is your individuality and care,
Your kind, and your fair,
You are merciful and true,
In all that you do,
You follow the God above,
With all your heart and love,
And these are the reasons why,
From my heart comes the cry,
That I love you Nini,
With all that is within me.

My Shame, Your Mercy

I’m a wretch, horrid,
Shame upon my face florid,
As I tell you of my sin,
This thing to common among men,
I tell you of my shame,
Of Satan’s treacherous game,
Of leading myself into the night,
Without struggle or fight,
And sinning against you,
In this thing that I do.
And then you say,
With words bright as day,
“I still love you,
No matter this thing you do,
You have failed and fallen,
Into your old sin,
You still have my whole heart,
Every single part,
But get up my love, fight on,
This night is nearly spent and gone.”
And thus you, my strength renew,
And thus I am able to continue,
Pressing on with you towards the light,
With all of our might.

Masks and Desires

Satin before a silken face,
Covered in beads and in lace,
Adding a veneer of composed grace,
But peering out through masked portals,
Are the windows to this mortal's,
Heartfelt agonies,

Peering deep into what of soul can I see,
A soulful longing to be unbound and free?
Or a longing for retribution for animosity?
No, the longing is of another sort,
The longing is to feel the report,
Of another, longing to know,

But what of this longing these eyes show?
Does the heart's desire grow,
Such that it would sever the flow,
Of unbounded freedom in now enjoys,
And risk to be caught in another's ploys,
With a self wrought chain?

Is this heart willing to weather the pain,
For even the slightest semblance of gain?
What if in the end your tears fall like rain?
By binding yourself to another soul,
Who might be dark as blackest coal.
Will you risk the worst in hope of the supernal?

Deus Ex From Within

Sitting, watching, world passing by,
Feeling, nothing, no emotions fly,
Living, thinking, water trickles on,
Waiting, holding, breath almost gone,
Chain, shackling, death smiles now,
Pain, awakening, questions ask how,
Beast, rising, chains break apart,
Empathy, dying, war to start,
Mercy, remembered, yet sways not,
Destruction, Sunders, his chains of false lot.

What Pray Tell Could I Be?

Unmovable, unbreakable,
Unbending, and unshakable,
Hard as iron, sharp as steel,
Accepts no false deal,
To pain will not yield,
Not hide behind any shield,
Defended kings and paupers the same,
From vices’ wicked game,
Forges cities and protects kin,
Slays demons, and wards off sin,
Where I am not found,
The helpless are bound,
The weak are slain,
And the wicked reign,
Cities crumble into dust,
And men give in to lust,
Warriors fear the night,
And none fight for right,
I armor many a soul,
And can sear like a hot coal,
Under my aegis all men are free,
For fallacies animosity,
I’ve tread beneath the earth
And been here before man’s birth,
I have flow the heaven’s and sky,
I shall be here after the last wicked shall die,
What pray tell could I be?
I am naught but integrity.

Miss That Which Was Never Had.

This desire burning fire,
Consuming dire, temperance’s pyre,
I wish to hold,
In my hands icy cold,
To touch tenderly,
This thing floating free,
Why do I feel the sting,
Of missing something,
Which I never bore,
Yet it stings my core,
I wish to drink up,
Yet ‘tis not my cup,
I wish to consume,
Yet I can not assume,
To take what is not couth,
Like a fallacious youth,
I wish to hold it in my arms,
Washed in the swaths of its charms,
I wish to taste and see,
If the flavor be,
Soothing to the soul,
Or grating like coarse coal,
But that which I desire,
In this longing fire,
This thing I miss,
For which I remiss,
So why is it then,
Do I miss when,
I have never had,
Why then am I sad.

The Mermaid

Head sits upon her hands,
As she dreams of distant lands,
As she rests upon the jagged rock,
Taking in a mental stock,
Of hopes and dreams,
Of her heart’s whispers and screams,
Jagged rocks pressing into soft skin,
And icy salty spray drips from her fin,
Dreaming of something far away,
As distant as night at noon day,
As naked flesh is cut by stone,
And from her mortal heart comes stifled groan,
But this daughter of the sea,
Wishing for that which she can see,
Wishing to not be alone,
But for chance to walk upon earthen stone,
But she is the daughter,
Of the raging water,
Yet she wishes to be,
Able to leave the sea,
Yet she in her heart she longs,
In echoing desire strong,
To embrace that which she loves,
In as strange an union as fish and doves,
Yet her heart cries, and tries to beseech,
And it tries to reach,
That which burns like fire,
Deep in her desires,
To be sought and reachable,
In spite of seeming unreachable.

Careful What You Ask

Be careful what you ask,
In word, look, deed, or task,
For there are things you can not see,
Dwelling inside of me,
Things which try to hide,
And Things bound up by pride,
If you were to request,
Of me my dearest and best,
I could not renege,
One tiny twig,
Of these branching promises,
Of my Strength, my Love,
And for you my dove,
The bedrock at my core,
Even my sacred Honor.
So be careful what you ask me,
For the answer may yet be,
To your sweet whispers evanescence,
A soul shattering acquiescence.

My Saturnalia

As I sit I try to sift,
Out the cause of this rift,
That is tearing apart,
The chambers of my heart,
And severs me from my God.
Why do I continue to corner,
In a commitment with no rejoinder,
The one who broke the yoke under which I plod,
Why do I continue to mix the holy,
With the profane in me?
Like those who made Saturnalia,
Into a sign of "Christian" regalia,
So I continue to crucify,
My brother who chose to die,
That he could forgive,
And I might live,
Brother help me to estrange,
Myself from all I must change,
Make me like you,
In all, O Lord, I do.

Jar of Self

*I won't provide many details about this one, just simply that it was requested by a good friend of mine, that I would describe how she felt."
Father! Can you hear me tonight,
I’m here alone, without light,
They’ve took my life,
And left me strife,
My dreams are fading,
From moments jading,
I’m being crushed,
Ground to dust,
By the weight,
Of my unfair fate,
No one dares,
To care about me,
Why do they hate me,
Can’t they see,
My agonies plaguing,
And the fury’s raging,
In my life,
Cutting like a knife,
I sealed up in a jar,
Covered by scars,
And horrid sutures,
With no future,
I scream and shout,
Trying to find a way out,
But there is none,
And there is no one,
Who can hear me,
Or who can see,
Because I am locked away,
In the grey,
Of circumstance,
And spiteful chance,
Locked away inside,
In myself I hide,
These tears inside fall,
While outside I’m the perfect doll,
Living still on,
Though all hope’s gone,
Father! Can you hear me tonight!
I’m about to give up the fight,
My breath is nearly out,
This is my last shout,
The air in this jar,
Is spent by far,
In its miasmic taint,
I’m about to faint,
Please father, come breath in me,
And let me see,
Why it is so,
Let me know,
That you still see from above,
That you’re still love,

Daughter Dearest,
With whom I’m nearest,
I’ve been here all along,
Through all this wrong,
You just couldn’t see me,
And I’m here to set you free,
Not of circumstance,
Nor of spiteful chance,
But of the agony,
That I see,
Deep inside your heart,
So that you might start,
That you might be free,
To ever see,
The beauty I placed in you,
That day I made you new,
These cut’s your feeling,
In your innermost being,
Are but the surgeon’s hand,
Cleaning away time’s sand,
Wiping away, your bloody tears,
Stitching up your woods and fears,
But please persevere,
You’re my daughter, most dear,
You’re not alone,
I just haven’t shown,
My full plan for you,
To make you new,
To take you, high above,
Soaring like a dove,
Free of these chains,
And all these pains,
Just remember daughter,
I am your loving father.

Diamon Tears, and Ruby Faces

*This post is actually an old poem I wrote back on October 22, 2007.*
A brilliant pink flower,
Dripped upon by the rain shower,
Turning drops to brilliant amber,
Each drop an intimate embrace,
Upon a lotus face,
Each drop a teary kiss,
Of joyous ruby bliss,
And Lord, teach my heart to love,
As I watch these drops from above,
Like diamond tears of sympathy,
Upon a Ruby Face,
Poured out like grace,
In immortal sympathy,
Upon weeping men,
Crimson with their sin.

Begging the Wolf

Don’t you know,
What I am,
I can not go,
It would be naught but sham,
You would place a fierce beast,
Among these docile sheep,
And then ask it not to feast!
Do you want to see a lion weep?
Do not ask this of me,
It is not plausible,
It can not be,
It is not possible,
And then you bent onto your knee,
Admitting this is no game,
That I’d be self-bound, not free,
And pleading in the Lord’s name,
And fate was cast,
When I acquiesced,
And at last,
Did what was good, no best,
So I went to this school,
To learn the way,
Of being a tool,
Not of night, but bright day,
I became bound in chains,
Tethered and muzzled,
Wracked by pains,
And tormented and puzzled,
That I might in the end,
Be truly free,
By learning to bend,
My iron will to be,
A tool for the Lord,
Though to wit,
I know not what I shall be,
When the Lord sees fit,
To be done with me,
Yet even if he should slay me,
Still I will serve Him.

Sunset

*This one is based off a photograph I saw Taken by my friend Ceri. She is a marvelous photographer and I thank her very much for posting the photograph.*

See, earth, Sky,
Embrace as the days die,
And fire is fashioned,
Is the vestige of their passion,
Such glory, such grace,
Displayed before nocturne's embrace.

Father's Words

[Another request. If any of you have any request either send it to me on Facebook if you are on my friends list, or email me.]

There are things that I want to say,
Before time and life slips away,
But the words won’t come out,
In whisper or in shout,
To tell you son how to play your card,
So your life doesn’t have to be so hard,
Give you some tips as to life,
So you don’t have to go through all the strife,
That I’ve been through in my days,
All these wrong hands, and misplays,
And if there is one thing I want to do,
It’s to say that I love you,
There is so much love in my heart,
But son it seems every time I start,
To tell you the way I feel,
Something come in to steal,
The moment, the chance away,
But not today,
Forgive me for all the things I’ve done,
Forgive me for my faults, my son,
You don’t have to have my misgivings,
You don’t have to have my miss-livings,
If you learn from me,
And always try to see,
The better the higher path,
Always count the odds, do the math,
Then you’ll come out on top,
You’ll be the cream of the crop,
And I may not ever say it son,
But when all is said and done,
Whether in whisper or shouting loud,
You make me proud,
And I love you,
No matter what you do.

Forgiven, Forgotten, and For Granted

[This poem was requested by Jerome De G., he knows what it is for, and I am giving him permission to use it along the lines of our spoken agreement. As for the rest of you I hope it blesses you, and what Jerome does blesses you even more.]
This thing, slowly slipping up on me,
Bearing chains to keep me from being free,
Coming decked in silver, decked in gold,
Coming decked in pleasures bold,
Luring me on,
Whispering, “hurry before it’s gone”,
I take the bait, the lure,
And purchase pleasure,
But at what cost?
What value was lost?
The death of the son of God,
Beaten down by the rod,
Of my miasmic sin,
Forgive me father once again,

I never more want to cry,
In darkness as moonless midnight sky,
My sins were forgiven,
My sins were forgotten,
Satan’s rule was supplanted,
And here I go, taking it for granted,

Forgive me father once again,
I’ve gone and committed the same sin,
I knew all I was doing,
Was once again bringing,
Sorrow to your heart,
Exposing it to Satan’s dart,
You died on that tree,
That I might be,
Forever free,
But the problem you see,
Is I’m still holding the hammer,
And every tempestuous clamor,
Drives me back once again,
Nailing you with my sin,
O’ Father, forgive me,
Pour down your mercy,
I know it cost your life,
You went through a world of strife,
Please, take the hammer away,
Please, father hear me pray,
Take the old man, don’t let him stay,
Change my life, please this day,

I never more want to cry,
In darkness as moonless midnight sky,
My sins were forgiven,
My sins were forgotten,
Satan’s rule was supplanted,
And here I go, taking it for granted,

Forgive me father of my sins,
I’ve killed heaven’s best again,
While conscience pricks like pins, needles rods,
For transient pleasure I chose to slay God,
That was the horrific cost,
All of love, risked being lost,
To save one,
You gave your only son,
Who life I took for vain gain,
Yet willing was He slain,
I don’t understand that love,
Coming down from above,
That He would give me His place,
Even after I spit in His face,
Forgive me Father of my sin,
I’ve gone and failed again,

I never more want to cry,
In darkness as moonless midnight sky,
My sins were forgiven,
My sins were forgotten,
Satan’s rule was supplanted,
And here I go, taking it for granted,

For I want to cry someday,
In glory free from dark and grey,
Of sins forever forgiven,
Of sins forever forgotten,
Satanic tyranny forever supplanted,
Of mercies to me, you granted.

Nafarius Lucidity

[Another requested poem, this one was requested to be about romance, adultery, and heartbreak...not sure why the person wanted that, however I wrote it. They originally asked for it to be from a girls point of view. No point of view sex wise however is specified in the writing.]

All you ever say,
Is that you love me,
What’s with this game you play,
You’ve been with another I can see,
You come around and cover up,
All the things you’ve been doing,
When your out having pleasure’s cup,
Don’t you know the pains it’s bringing,
This pain cutting in my heart,
Your cheating on me,
Piercing with your dart,
So I’m setting myself free,
I walked in on you and another,
There is nothing you can say,
Go run off with your lover,
I refuse to stay and play,
You hurt me most with your adultery,
But you also cut the chain,
And set me free,
From this constant pain,
This knife of treachery black,
Forged from nefarious lies,
Again and again, slipped lucidly into my back,
Nevermore, today it dies.
You spoke so softly in my ears,
Of how I was your only one.
As you cried crocodile tears,
While you ran around looking for fun.
Don’t reach out to touch me!
Don’t try to comfort me!
What’s wrong? Can’t you see!
I’m going to set me free!
I hear you; you said you’re sorry,
Well that’s never going to be,
Enough any more,
What’s this your begging on your knees?
Crying, “please, Please!”
No, get out of my door,
Your welcome here, Nevermore,
Get up off the floor,
Before I give you what’s in store,
You wanted to play with whores,
Wanted to make some scores,
You diced up my life,
With your cheating knife,
Now I got a knife of my own,
Flee fool, before I make you groan,
I never want to see you again,
Never be reminded of your sin,
Your no longer the boss,
I will be free,
Of the shame, heartache, loss,
You brought to me.

Heaven's Die is Cast

[I was asked to do another poem by someone, however they left the choice of subject up to me, so I wrote this. There are many possible ways that this can be interpreted, and I believe each reader can derive different meanings from it. I hope it blesses you.]

Staring into the darkness,
Morose with no sharpness,
Trying to pierce this veil,
Woven tendrils of mourning wails,
Blocking all sight and sound,
Except the feverish pound,
Of your fearful heart,
As the tendrils about you dart,
Enveloping you in miasma of sorrow,
Leaving no hope of dawn tomorrow,
Leaching from you all joy,
Devouring hope, with you they toy,
Satiating fiendish desires,
In the extinguishing of your bright fires,
Leaving you dark and alone,
Alone ‘cept the anguished moan,
Falling in gasping breath from lips,
Lips of a soul come to grips,
With fearful, tearful cost,
Of hope deferred, and joy lost,
These tendrils push you down,
Trying to force you to drown,
In the dark depth of saturnine despair,
Dragging you down like a beast into its lair,
Clinging chains of depression,
Of soul anguish and recession,
As you choke and sputter,
And in icy cold shutter,
Forced beneath the flow,
Of swallowing serpentine sorrow’s blow,
That stream, that mighty river,
That shackling misgiver,
But then as your breath is at its last,
Something across your life is cast,
Tis not a shadow dark,
Nor some scourging mark,
Of past sins come back to haunt,
Or of mighty trials to daunt,
Tis a life line strong,
A saving from wrong,
It is a swimmer mighty,
To pull you free,
In this great risk he doth take,
To pull you out of icy lake,
Henceforth Heaven’s die is cast,
Will you grab hold before it is past,
Grab hold of The Mighty One,
Who is naught but Heaven’s only Son,
He will trade fates with you,
What do you choose to do?
Either way He feels the ice,
Either way, He pays the eternal price.

Silver Crow

[Someone (on facebook again) had requested that I write a poem about waiting for "the one" so here it is. I hope that it is what they are looking for.]


It burns it burns it consumes all feelings,
This agony of ecstasy leaving soul reeling,
Stripping layers of inhibitions, away they peel,

I must resist,
I must desist,
Mustn’t break Heaven’s trist,

This possessing desire,
Blazing hot like a fire,
O’ Flee now before straits are dire,

Your very presence is a blow,
Upon me, with your temptatious glow,
My Fair Silver Crow,

I feel base like a beast,
Wanting to take and feast,
To taste from greatest, to least,

But I shan’t,
I Can’t
I must resist passion’s rant,

Resist this bloody lust,
To embrace my fellow dust,
To break faith, to break trust,

Such is the conflict of this communion,
Of my mind, heart, and flesh; no happy union,
Feelings and primal lust in collusion,

Yet you, Silver Crow,
Will never know,
Of this fight, of its flow,

For you were not given to me,
Therefore it can not be,
I will not chain myself to you in iniquity,

I will wait for the Raven of my dreams,
Not the, Silver Crow, of passion’s screams,
I will wait for the one He deems,

Even if she is not fair,
Nor the “woman of silver hair”,
Or a princess rescued from beastly lair,

I will do what is right,
Even if I fight alone through the night,
And no help meet is found in the light,

Still even then, I will serve.

Passage of Another

(This poem was requested by someone anonymously on my facebook page [and yes I take requests that way.] It was a tad difficult to write about loosing someone without knowing who I was writing for, nor what type of person relationship wise the person had lost... however here is my attempt. Forgive me if it isn't good, I haven't written in a long time.)

That day cut my soul,
Searing like a blazing coal,
You stepped out of my life,
Your passage a rending knife,
There was peace, yet with pain,
In this loss, can there be gain?
Yet I must move on,
For you are gone,
You were there for me in life,
Whether peace or strife,
May I not forget the way,
That you lived each day,
May the remembrance never fade,
Of the memories we made,
You may be gone away,
Like the mist of morning day,
Vaporizing in the noon light,
Or like tears of morning night,
Dried by time’s touch and sight,
But you live yet still,
Within hearts, minds, and wills,
Of those you touched, blessed, loved,
My dear beloved dove.