I had thought

I had though I loved you,
I though maybe you even knew,
But truth be told,
I just wasn’t bold,
I was to weak,
To reach out a seek,
To try to take you as my own,
Now that opportunity is blown,
I’ll never have it back,
As torn heartstrings go slack,
I am alone,
And heart hunger parched like dry bone,
It’s all my fault,
I’m such a dolt,
I wanted be with you,
To walk under moon light new,
To hold you hand,
While walking upon moonlit sand,
To taste your lips,
To embrace your charm's grips,
To breath in your scent,
Oh if only it were meant,
For me to bear,
Your sorrow and your care,
If only it were so,
But alas no,
I did not pursue,
Yes for honor, but also for fear,
Fear of letting one near,
That they might turn away,
When they saw the putrid grey,
Of my wounded heart,
Pierced by many a dart,
And so you will never know,
The affection I longed to show,
But am I making this mistake again,
Or am I wisely avoiding sin?
And am I strong enough to find out,
To brave the wind, and the fury, and the shout,
Of emotion in my soul,
Or will I be alone and black as coal,
Oh which is wrong, and which is right,
Alas I can’t see with mortal sight,
And are thus frozen without decision,
Blinded without emotional vision.
Weakened by heart Neuropathy,
Caused by soul apathy.